MAKE A MOVIE OF IT!
One day my roommate – Drex Greene – woke up dead. But he didn’t just wake up dead. He woke up in a body bag. At the morgue.
I think he got hit by a bus? Anyway, it doesn’t matter.What matters is that he’s dead. Deceased. Passed away. Kicked the bucket. Minus heartbeat. Without pulse.
EXCEPT… Drex still walking around. Going to work. Getting hung up on chicks that are way out of his league. You know what I call that? I call that BEING A ZOMBIE.
Now here’s the question: what would you do if your roommate woke up a zombie?
Don’t tell me that you’d take him to the hospital or call his mommy or the police department (animal control?) or any of that BS. Because if you did that, you’d be an idiot. My roommate woke up a zombie, and I’m doing what any self-respecting capitalist-celebrating film-school-graduating fine-looking human being such as myself would do.
I’m going to make a show about him. And, y’know, maybe a few million bucks in the process. (I need a sponsor. Hello, Kodak? CALL ME!) Drex is lucky that lives with an independent filmmaker such as myself. (And Drex, I know you’re going to say that I’m dependent on my parents but you can SHUT UP. It beats having a real job.)
Everyone in film school who said I’d never amount to anything? You can bite me. Because I am making a zombie movie with a REAL LIFE ZOMBIE. (A real dead zombie. Who happens to be alive. And my roommate.)
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